Sieh dir diesen Beitrag auf Instagram an
So … instead of writing something like “paint me like one of your French girls” I’m gonna write something real (and much too long.) I never ever thought I’d let this photo see the light of day. I don’t even know if I can allow it to sit in my feed to be honest – my heart is pounding just considering clicking “post.” Here it is though – This is me: Naked and makeup less. The photo is modest in reality and yet to me it’s showing EVERYTHING and some days it makes me cringe so hard I wanna remove it from my phone and other days I accept it. I posed naked once for a friend – this is that moment. It was the ultimate “putting myself out of my comfort zone” thing I’ve done. Seeing as tomorrow begins another journey outside my comfort zone – today seemed the perfect day to release this into the wild. Tomorrow and on I will be at a Vipassana 10 day silent meditation retreat. That may sound like something fun or holiday like – but it’s not … especially for someone like me. I am a very social person. I love making connections and I love exploring all things that take me outside of sitting with my own thoughts, anxieties and insecurities. I obsess on the past, I obsess over things I could’ve done and I stress over the future. None of this is healthy. All I want is to be present. There will be no distractions (not even a pen and paper/book permitted.) No eye contact. No speaking. 4am-9pm sitting with myself every day. 😳😳😳 All of me 😳😳😳 and dealing with whatever comes up on my own. I can only avoid myself for so long, so I decided to just fuckin go for it – no matter how scary it is. It’s been a long difficult road of figuring out who I am outside of my band and what things mean the most to me – hoping to gain further clarity on all aspects of me and my life. There’s so much more I could talk about – but I’ve already made this too long … so … well … I’ll catch all of you on the flip side. 💋 #naked #af #meditation #vipassana #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness – thank you to @rob_bryn @whaitecanvas and @icfnyc who planted this seed in my head.